How not to take things personally? | Frederik Imbo | TEDxMechelen

Summary: The video features a football referee sharing his journey of why he chose to become a referee, emphasizing his desire to learn how not to take things personally. He discusses the challenges he faces in various situations, both in his personal and professional life, and shares two main strategies to stop taking things personally: understanding that it's not about oneself and giving oneself empathy and speaking up when it is about oneself.

Key Points:

• 0:43 The referee's decision to become a football referee was not driven by monetary gain but rather to stay fit and learn how not to take things personally.
• 1:11 He struggles with taking things personally and gives examples of when he does, like while driving or during public speaking engagements.
• 3:19 The referee proposes that the audience may also struggle with taking things personally.
• 6:53 He presents the first strategy: "It's not about me," and emphasizes the importance of looking at situations from the other person's perspective to avoid taking things personally.
• 9:05 The video explains that our brains produce 50,000 thoughts a day, with 80% being negative, making it challenging to avoid taking things personally.
• 12:10 When the first strategy doesn't work, the referee suggests it's about oneself and advises looking inwards and questioning one's actions or insecurities.
• 13:57 Criticism is discussed as something that hurts due to childhood experiences, and the importance of giving oneself empathy and speaking up is highlighted.
• 15:36 The video concludes by encouraging the audience to implement the two strategies to not take things personally and emphasizes the value of respectful communication.

The speaker's journey as a referee and his insight into navigating personal reactions forms the basis of this video.